Saturday, June 20, 2009

Not even Christina could save me

One of the reasons I decided to start and keep up with this blog (notice the 3 or 4 month gap from my first 2 posts to my third post) was to keep me honest (also to maybe encourage someone who's in the same boat as me...maybe?). So anyways, keeping me honest.

Ugh, I hate being honest with myself sometimes. It's like calling yourself out and facing the fact that you aren't where you wanna be.

Today's run, well to put it simply, it sucked!

Sucked!

My goal was to go out for 50 minutes. I was hoping for 4-4.5 miles, but the main goal was the 50 minutes! I created a good playlist (gotta have good tunes), prepared myself mentally, and went to the gym (yes, WAY too hot here to run outside, so it was a treadmill day - I actually don't mind treadmills, but that's a whole different story).

Here's my playlist (I've had people ask me for it from time to time)
  • A-Punk by: Vampire Weekend
  • Baby Got Back by: Sir Mix-A-Lot
  • California Love by: Tupac/Dr. Dre
  • Crack a Bottle by: Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
  • Fighter by: Christina Aguilera
  • Here's To You by: Rascal Flatts
  • Just Dance by: Lady GaGa & Colby O'Donis
  • Keeps Gettin' Better by: Christina Aguilera
  • List of Demands (Reparations) by: Saul Williams
  • Poker Face by: Lady GaGa
  • Real World by: The All-American Rejects
  • Self Inflicted by: Katy Perry
  • She's A Rebel by: Green Day
  • Shut Up And Drive by: Rihanna
  • SOS by: Rihanna
  • Untouched by: The Veronicas
  • Wanksta by: 50 Cent
Seriously, after about 5 minutes I felt exhausted, like I had been running for ever. I stopped watching the clock, cranked up my tunes, and started thinking about me crossing the finish line of my next half marathon (believe it or not, that helped me tremendously while training for my first half marathon). But, it kept getting harder, my feet felt heavy, my legs felt rubbery, and my brain kept saying "Just quit, you'll feel better, it will be nice to just take a break, won't it?"

UGH, why?

So, I did what I always do when I get to this point, I flip through the playlist until I come across Fighter by Christina Aguilera.

That song portrays how I feel about running, how running has made me stronger, how running has turned me into a fighter.

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Well, today's run was SO bad, that song couldn't even get me through. It's partially becuase I did not drink enough water last night/this morning, and partially becuase I haven't had a good/serious run in almost 2 weeks.

I looked at the clock...20 minutes had passed, so I said to myself "Just go 10 more minutes, 10 more, it's ok, you can do it." I did, I went 10 more minutes. Wanted to do the full 50, but sometimes you just need to listen to your body.

I have a very difficult time drawing the line between being tough and stupid. At what point to do say, "Ok, if you keep going you're going to hurt yourself or wear yourself out so much you won't be able to do your next run?" It's a very fine line (at least for me).

I'm not a quitter.

I don't give up.

I'm stubborn.


That's just my nature.

I'm looking forward to a much better run on Monday. But in the mean time, I've vowed to cut out alcohol and caffeine (yikes!) for the next month. I think it will help me get myself back in half marathon shape and help get my act in gear!

Don't worry, I'll keep you posted, afterall, it helps keep me honest!



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