Monday, November 16, 2009

15 days, and unfortunately, counting...

It's been 15 days since my last run, and unfortunately, counting...

I feel like a part of me is missing.

I set out to run today after work. My cough has mellowed out a little bit, my body doesn't ache anymore, and all around, I was feeling about a 90%. I kept thinking "Finally, finally I'll be able to get back out there. I'm itching to run. I can't wait to feel that pavement under my running shoes. Can't wait to get in the rhythm of the music, and just run!"

I got out there, did a brisk walk for a warm up, then cranked the tunes, and went for it. I started a pretty slow but steady pace. I was in absolutely no rush and had no time goal whatsoever. I was just hoping to run/walk 3 miles (5 if I felt up to it). I made it across the bridge of my trail just fine (only about .2 miles, but still!).

Wow, this is awesome. I feel pretty good, I love the wind in my hair, sun on my face, dirt scuff up around me. Ahhhhh....perfect! I'm back!

Until... *cough* *cough* *cough* -- so bad I had to come to a walk. The cough got worse, and I couldn't breathe. I had to stop all together just to let my lungs gasp for the air that they were so violently forcing out! (In case you missed it, I had the swine flu and now I'm dealing with the aftermath.)

That was it, .33 miles.

It made me sad. It made me feel like a failure.

I wanted to cry. Honestly, the reason why I didn't is because I knew I'd look like the weird girl crying on the running trail...

I just wanted so badly to get out there are run. Not run fast, just run. Just complete one run.

I know if I push myself too hard, it'll take me even longer to get better.

I'm getting worried about my race. It's less than 3 weeks away. I know I'll be ok, I know I'll finish it. Originally, I was thinking this race would be my PR (it's a flat, fast course with great weather). All hopes for a PR went out the door...and that's ok, I have my whole life for a PR. I'm just worried I'll get out there and be dead by mile 8. Luckily (I've said it before) but I'll be running it with my bff who is flying in from Chicago. She too has been sick and unable to train, so I think we'll just go out there, try our best, and finish when we finish.

The truth is, I feel horrible. It's amazing how much of a "runner" I've actually become.

I miss it.

I need it.

I'm going crazy without it.

Me not being able to run is driving me crazy. It's setting me back on my weight goal. Setting me back on my training, and I'm not thrilled!

I'm also stressed that I am getting out of shape. I have another half marathon (a really tough one) in February and I'm worried I'll have a major setback...

Have any of you had to be forced to take a break before? What did you do to keep yourself from going crazy? Was it difficult to make a full and healthy comeback?

8 comments:

  1. Well that's a bummer but at least you didn't push yourself. You gotta listen to your body. Not much you can do for the half in 3 weeks just take it easy and take walking breaks as needed. It seems there are a lot of bloggers who are in the same boat as you. I'm beginning to think that the fall isn't the greatest time to enter races.

    Feel better soon!

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  2. I,m with you girl!! It has been 4 weeks since I have run and it is killing me. My knee is not any better after 4 weeks of rest and strengthening and I'm due for shoulder surgery in a few weeks that will put me out for another 6-8 weeks at least. I feel like I will never run again and it totally bums me out!! You will be fine for your race, just take it slow and make sure your body is ready before you push it too much!!!

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  3. I think you need a prescription for a tu-tu or something of the like. Something to make you not take the race so seriously, to just go out there and have fun because even if you don't PR, you still get to finish it and some people will never be able to do that. Keep that chin up girl, you will get back to pounding the pavement in due time, until then just take care of yourself!!!

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  4. Maybe try the stationary bike...it could be exercise but less taxing on the cough..

    Good luck!! Like Morgan said, this is a good time to reassess and just go with it :)

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  5. been forced to stop twice, due to stress fractures. Yes, it totally sucks. It's like anything, you want things most when you can't have it. For me, I was able to swim and cycle though, so I fell in love with those, and now hooked on triathlon. Don't know if either of those are options, but what about some low impact strength training, something that may not get you coughing, but still exercise nonetheless. Try finding the positive out of a crappy situation :) Hope you feel better soon!

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  6. Damn, sorry to hear you're still dealing with the remnants of the piglet, but you've got to give your body time to recover. But I feel your frustration loud and clear. I've been forced to take many breaks during my training programs. Calf strain, stress fractures, upper respiratory tract infection - you name it I had it. But don't worry, running will wait for your patiently. It will never leave you! And, you might be surprised at how well a rested body performs. I once PR'd after a two week training interruption. Feel better soon girlie :)

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  7. Those coughs are the worst. I hate it when you want to run and can't because of a stupid cough. But, you need to rest and recover..... and you'll be back on the road in no time!

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  8. Hey Jen. I'm going through the exact same "I miss running" thing right now too. It's crazy how much you miss it when you can't do it! Addiction much? Right now I have an injury setback in one leg after a broken leg (opposite leg) that kept me from running for 6 months. I just keep telling myself that I'll get it back eventually. I just have to be patient and let myself heal, which is so much easier said than done. But we can do it! Because we're runners and runners can do anything, right? Good luck!

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